Bean Boozled

Need I say more?

Basically it's a game that people should avoid playing at all costs, because you would think that it would be 50% bad flavours and 50% good flavours, but no. My friend and I had a packet that was 70% of bad flavours. We have been wanting to do this for four years, but due to geography getting in the way, it was only a week ago that we got to fulfil this dream... which turned into a nightmare. Mind you, I am glad I got to experience this game of torture with her, because I wouldn't put myself through that with anyone else.

Actual stinky socks probably taste better than whatever they put into those jelly beans. Same goes with booger and moldy cheese. Rotten egg was a horror to swallow too (and I also didn't like the buttered popcorn flavour- so that risk combination was always a lose lose situation for me anyway). Barf tasted like what you'd expect it too: the most acidic vomit ever. And skunk spray: why did we put ourselves through this? Baby wipes and lawn clippings tasted delicious in comparison (and even those were a bit odd). But the canned dog food! OH MY EFFING GOD!!!!! My dad was watching us in amusement from the other side of the room. Around three metres away and he could smell our breath from that jelly bean from that distance! That is how strong it was! I was begging for the toothpaste flavour after that, but no! I had to have every single bad flavour.

My friend spat out a couple of the flavours, which was very smart. But being the idiot I am, I was like "I'm not going to let a packet of jelly beans get the better of me"- there were moments I was *this* close to retching. At times it took all my concentration and me gripping my hair in utter torment while trying to swallow these evil beans. And we got through the packet, and at the end wished we recorded it because of our reactions, but WE ARE NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN!

The post trauma was even worse than the actual experience. Thankfully we are the closest of friends, so my friend and I weren't embarrassed that we couldn't help burping, which reawakened the awful flavours. But even without that beautiful reminder, we still had all those gross tastes in our mouths which we tried to drown out with tea and chocolate... didn't exactly do the trick. My stomach was in so much pain, that I couldn't move without feeling stabbing sensations. And actually, my stomach actually bloated! Physically expanded for a couple of hours! I don't know what sh** they put into those beans, but our stomachs were growling at each other all night and it was painful to wee as well. I'm probably giving way too much information, but I feel like it needs to be said. We decided to google side affects from these not-so-sweet-confectionary, but couldn't find anything. So maybe my friend and I were the only people to ever get a bad reaction from them, or maybe no one else was as silly we were and ate and ingested the entire packet.

The next day, I just drank plain tea and didn't eat until 9pm that night. I just needed to fully detox because MAN! Those jelly beans weren't made for human consumption. Who came up with these flavours which are meant to be "naturally and artificially flavoured"- I don't know which of these sounds worse: the fact that it could be natural vomit flavour or artificial vomit flavour...