Vertigo

Over the past two months, I've been having quite a lot of vertigo attacks, which is extremely annoying and very inconvenient, as they can happen at any time, last however long and the extremity is unpredictable. Vertigo, unlike what Hitchcock made it sound, is not being afraid of heights, but is the feeling as if you and the world are spinning, tilting, going upside down, swaying... it's like your in the most violent and sickening and worst amusement park ride ever and you don't know when you will be able to get off it. It's different for a lot of people who experience vertigo, but for me when it initially hits you, I feel like I'm on those Tower of Terror rides where there is the sudden and aggressive drop and then it's as if you're getting thrown about, like the world is ripping apart. In summary, it's a living hell.


The first time I had vertigo, I had no idea what it was and the doctor told me that there are different causes of it, one of the most common being an inner ear problem which sends signals to the brain and pretty much stuffs you up with your sense of gravity and balance. I was sixteen/seventeen at the time and it lasted for an entire month. I had to take days off school and when I did go, I frequently visited student services to lie on the bed there, but no matter how much I tried to stay still, it would still feel as if I was spinning on a CD, as it was constantly occurring. There is no hesitation when I say that it was the worst month of my life.

I hadn't had any problems with vertigo until I moved to England. Since then, I've had five attacks:

1) at a laundrette and it was severely violent. All the colour left my face and I was extremely nauseous and couldn't see properly and was like a rag doll. It lasted nine hours

2) cooking with my flat mate in the kitchen and all of a sudden it hit me. I was by the bench, so was able to grab onto that before I collapsed, but I freaked my flat mate out because they didn't know what was happening and why I had to curl up on the ground clutching my head because the pressure was intense. But that lasted over an hour

3) while I was writing an essay, but luckily I was sitting on the floor at the time, so I didn't have far to fall, but it lasted about 40 minutes and set me back on my homework plan.

4) I was in the kitchen and putting my flatmate's bowl away when I felt like I was in an earthquake and I fell to the ground, dropping his bowl which smashed all over the place. I had to stumble to his room for help and later realised that I sliced my hand. This one was probably the tamest one I've had though, having only lasted half and hour, but still had a terrible headache after recovering balance.

5) what happened this Monday, I was doing some work on my laptop and it began again. It was still there the next day, but a lot better than what it was when it started, but I had to lie down in a class, felt very woozy and lightheaded and exhausted, with another constant bad headache, as if my skull was being crushed on either side.

Unfortunately, all I can do is ride them out, and just hope that they pass sooner rather than later. But I'm lucky to have such lovely and caring friends to help me when I do have these unexpected episodes, so a massive thank you to them and also to the ones who were there three years ago when I had vertigo for that month, because really it's one of the worst feelings ever and I feel so bad to ask for help at doing some of the simplest of tasks (eg. walking a few steps without falling or crashing into walls).

Far Away

Just a really quick post today, sorry. I'm a bit all over the place at the moment and am running on very little sleep with so many bits and pieces to do. I promise I'll be a lot more organised (and hopefully have a lot more energy) next time I write.

Today's song is 'Far Away' is one of my favourite songs to listen to when I'm reflecting or just wanting to make either myself or someone else feel better. The lyrics are reassuring and is the type of song that, every time you listen to it, affects you emotionally- one of the lines is even"pulling on my heartstrings." This soft and melodic song is about connection with people you care about and that distance doesn't matter because no matter what, you'll always be there for each other. This song really is the 'comfort blanket' of songs.

UK trips #4- Cardiff

Last weekend I visited Cardiff, and being a Doctor Who and Torchwood fan, I was extremely excited about having the chance to go to the place where they filmed it. Unfortunately it was pouring down with rain and my friends and I walked from the town centre to the bay and we were absolutely drenched. I looked and felt like a wet dog, plus the wind was so strong, so hair was flying all over the place and umbrellas were blowing inside out and rendered completely useless (hence why we were completely soaked).

But despite that downside, we made the most of the day, walking down the main street where there was a German themed Christmas stall market, which was adorable and made the terrible weather look less terrible. Christmas just makes everything seem better.

For lunch, we had burritos which were delicious, especially since I've been craving burritos for weeks and hadn't done anything about it until then. I love Mexican food so much! And that gave us enough energy to brave the elements, which led us to...

Where Torchwood is filmed!!!!!

The most bizarre part of the day was walking along the water and coming across the Ianto Shrine. For those who don't know who Ianto is, he is a character from Torchwood who (spoilers) dies in 'The Children of Earth' mini series. It was strange coming across it because I had no idea that they had created it, which I thought was so sweet, even though I thought Owen and Tosh's deaths were sadder to be honest. But that is an example of how much Doctor Who and it's spin-off's mean to people.

Afterwards, we went into a shop that sold freshly backed Welsh Cakes which were really nice. It was sort of like a shortbread biscuit and mini pancake, with sultanas in it and others with chocolate chips. It was a good day and even though we had to travel six hours in total to get there, as a Doctor Who fan, it was totally worth it. 

Whatsername

It's been almost a month since I saw 'American Idiot' but I still replay it in my mind because it was so incredible. And because I'm still so utterly in love with everything about the musical and want to revive my memory of it constantly, today's song is 'Whatsername'.

This was the song that stood out to me so much in the performance, and the week afterwards, I listened to it over and over and had it stuck in my head, until I had that obsession with 'Alone Again (Naturally)'. I'm happy to report that I now have been able to listen to different songs once again, which is great, because listening to the same song 166 times in three days is a bit excessive.

'Whatsername' has wonderful lyrics and music to accompany the story, and it worked so well in the storyline:

"I made a point to burn all of the photographs

She went away and then I took a different path

I remember the face but I can't recall the name

Now I wonder how whatsername has been" 

I couldn't decide which version of the song to share, because the original Green Day version is so different to the musical's. The Broadway version begins with acoustic and with strings (which I briefly mentioned in my post about the musical), and considering I am talking so much about the musical, I decided that I'll post that version, but I strongly encourage listening to the original as well, because it's so amazing and definitely one of my favourite Green Day songs.

Homework vs Food

Is there really a choice? I've got a lot of uni work going on at the moment, with heaps of readings and essays once again piling up and yet, I still feel like I haven't really achieved anything. I've written many posts about procrastination, because it's such a big part of my life, but today I'm going to write about the other big (if not bigger) part of my life, which is food and the two go hand in hand really. For example:

-when I should have started researching for an essay, I was making chocolate chip biscuits. You would think that when the biscuits were in the oven baking, I could have done some work, but no. I decided to sit in front of the oven and watch the biscuits coming to life.

-when I should have started writing my essay, instead my flat mate and I had a chocolate pizza (which I ran down to the corner shop to buy nutella to add to the topping- the results were like heaven!) and watched Bridget Jones' Diaries. With the leftover nutella, I then got a spoon and continued eating it from the jar (I have a really bad sugar addiction).

And I've been making a lot of cups of tea, hot chocolates and chai lattes, just because I have priorities. Plus the other day I bought ground ginger which I have added to the hot chocolate and chaos, which just make them even more delicious. Yesterday I did start on my essay and was actually quite proud with the amount of work I eventually put into it, until today I met up with my tutor, and realised that I was already going way over the word limit, so instead of cutting down in words, I've decided that I'm just going to start all over again on a new topic (it's not as if I have a deadline in a couple of days or anything... um). I'm a really spontaneous and erratic person I feel. 

Alone Again (Naturally)

A couple months ago, I discovered Lily Allen's song 'Littlest Things' which I was completely obsessed with. Well, I'm sort of proud and horrified at the same time, to say that I have beaten that record of obsession with a song; a few days ago I bought 'Alone Again (Naturally)' which is the Gilbert O'Sullivan song from the 1970's (which coincidentally also features in the movie 'Love, Rosie' along with 'Littlest Things') and while doing numerous readings and research for an essay, I've been playing it on repeat. Today was the first day in three whole days where I've started to listen to other songs, which I felt really guilty about at first, but I thought it was the best thing to do (I sound like I broke up with the song, which is bitterly-funny considering what the title is).

I was first introduced to this song when I was roughly twelve, when I watched 'Love Actually' for the first time, and Colin Firth's character has a line where he quotes it when he arrives in France. My parents pointed it out to me and when I didn't get the reference, my parents immediately educated me with the song. I would forget about the song, but whenever it came on, I'd say "I like this," until a few days ago when I played it and just couldn't stop: I'm addicted to sad songs.

On the first day: I played it 59 times
Day two: 104
Day three: 166

It's a tragic song about a guy committing suicide, so it's not the cheeriest of topics. It talks about being completely and utterly broken inside, of being on your own and isolated because anyone you have ever loved has been taken away from you. Despite this, I was listening to it and found it trancelike when you have played it enough times, which makes it easier to focus and be absorbed with essay research. Either way, I absolutely love this song. 

Bonfire Night

Last night was Bonfire Night, which apparently used to be celebrated in Australia but isn't anymore, but it's a big night in the UK. Guy Fawkes Day is 5th November each year, beginning in 1605 when Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the House of Lords but was arrested before he had the opportunity to set up the explosives. Since then it has become a thanksgiving day for the failure of this attempt on that kings life, and now has become a night full of fireworks!

I love fireworks so much, and last night was spectacular because there was so much variety, with ones that spin around while going up in the air, the ones that look like stars exploding and raining down gold (those are my favourite), ones that shoot up then explode and are huge. Also there were squealing ones and ones that make so much noise that you feel it in your chest. All the colours and lights, it was beautiful and you become completely transfixed, unable to look away from the sky. You want them to last forever. Unfortunately my phone camera is really bad, and also I was paying more attention to fireworks than my photography, but these are a couple of photos I took:

   

The entire community went to the massive park to witness the show, trekking through the mud which was so slippery and so sticky. My friends and I held hands partially so we didn't lose each other in the crowd, but also just for support to not fall over. Luckily I was wearing gumboots because I saw people wearing just converse shoes and there feet would have been soaked!

My muddy gumboots

But fireworks weren't the only thing that was in the park. There was also a fair, with rides and hot food. I bought a bag of roasted chestnuts because it looked like something from a movie and made the whole nighttime carnival seem even more magical. It was a fantastic evening with once again, such amazing people who are making my time in the UK the best time ever. 

The Monster Mash

Last year's Halloween was so uneventful, but that changed this year (thank goodness). What I never realised about the UK is that Halloween is actually really big here. It's getting bigger in Australia, but it's still not that huge, so it was so exciting to discover that it's actually a big deal, with most shops decorating their windows, Halloween things sold at Tescos and other supermarkets and most importantly, that everyone dresses up. One of the benefits about living on student accommodation is that everyone goes all out with the face paint, costumes and fake blood.
I got to live out my vampiric dream and dress up in an adorable black and red tutu dress thing with black lace arm gloves and vampire collar and covered my mouth with fake blood and made my eyes cry fake blood... this is actually a childhood dream come true (I was a weird kid). It was such a fun night with a whole group of us joining the pandemonium of a nightclub and dancing all night and morning. Which leads to the song of the day, the old but incredibly timeless classic "The Monster Mash"

I was introduced to this song by my dad as a little kid and we always sing along and do the voices whenever we hear it. It's just a fun, lighthearted and corny song by Bobby Pickett about how he (Boris) was "working in the lab late one night, when [his] eyes beheld an eerie sight. For [his] monster from his slab began to rise and [how] suddenly to [his] surprise... He did the mash. He did the monster mash..."
And it's pretty much a prerequisite when listening to this song, to dance in the most ridiculous way possible. It doesn't matter what you look like, the crazier the better, especially on Halloween.