Unwell

I am so annoyed with myself. I haven't been sick since 2012- three whole years where I haven't even had a runny nose. And I had this impossible dream of maybe never getting sick ever again (because why not dream big?), and now that dream is obliterated completely. On Saturday night, my chest and throat felt a bit weird and that night I had nightmares and got hardly any sleep, so on Sunday (even though I was coughing continuously all day), I blamed my drowsiness on the nightmares. But last night was another horrible sleep of pretty much coughing up my lungs and waking up this morning with a fever, still coughing non-stop,  and with my least favourite: sniffly and blocked nose, which is making my voice sound like an old lady. I had to face the facts: I'm unwell. NOOO!!!! I've let myself down! I had to call into work today and tell them I couldn't come in, because no one wants someone serving them to be coughing all over their food and who looks like the living-dead. I'm also one of those people who hates taking medication- absolutely hate it and try to avoid it as much as possible. I've made myself numerous cups of  ginseng tea, also camomile tea with honey, made myself a lemon syrup and have eaten so many oranges in the past two days, but today I gave in and took some strong cough medicine and panadol... I feel like it's not working.

But I'm not going to let this small blip of unhealthiness stop me from writing, because there is a song for everything. So today's song of the day is Matchbox Twenty's  'Unwell'. It's not actually about the immune system failing on you, however it is a fantastic song.
But in terms of this particular cold, I guess the bright side to this is that when I do get better, I'll have a new aim to beat my record of 3 years of non-stop health.

From page to screen: "Paper Towns"

I have a few favourite books, and two of them are John Green's 'The fault in our stars' and 'Looking for Alaska,' which are his two greatest books. His other books, in my opinion, weren't that special; they were good, but they didn't stand out like those two. I read 'Paper Towns' last year and thought it was an agreeable read, but as I said, it didn't exactly shine out on the bookshelf. However, while I was reading it, I was thinking "this could work really well as a movie. In fact, I think the story could be told better as a movie." This opinion was confirmed earlier this week, when I saw 'Paper Towns' at the cinema. I absolutely loved the movie- I loved the 'Paper Towns' movie better than 'The Fault in our stars' movie.

Brief synopsis: set in the final weeks of high school, the main character, Quentin, is shy and not very outgoing, who has been in love with his popular, unpredictable and mysterious next door neighbour, Margo, since they met. "Margo loved mysteries, so she became one" and all through their high school life, they didn't have anything to do with each other, until one night, Margo climbs into his life (quite literally, through his bedroom window), asking if he could be her get-away driver for the evening. She is on a mission to pay back and "bring the rain" to her ex-boyfriend and her so-called friends. Quentin takes the risk and agrees to a night of being a fellow "ninja," and next day, Margo is gone. No one knows where, and Quentin, alongside with his two best friends and Margo's best friend, try to find and understand the clues to find Margo...

The movie stuck true to the book, which was great!  

It was so enjoyable to watch, with it brilliantly cast, with Nat Wolff as Quentin and Cara Delevingne as Margo. I just have to say, it is pure coincidence that I have written about two movies recently that both star Nat Wolff (him being one of the leads in 'Stuck in Love'- another side note: he was also Isaac in 'The fault in our stars'). But the best chemistry was definitely between Nat Wolff with Austin Abrams and Justice Smith, who played Quentin's best friends, Ben and Radar. Watching the three of them was as if we were watching a real group of best friends; talking over each other and joking and making fun of each other- it just seemed so realistic, which, in movies, is always a pleasure to watch. Because it's been a while since I read the book, I can't go into the details about the text itself, so instead, I'm just going to continue praising the film. It's very rare when the movie is better than the book- another exception includes 'Princess Diaries' (fantastic movie, but the books seemed to drag on a bit)- I don't know what it was that made the story more 'movie-material,' but it was somehow. I highly recommend seeing it.

Life Drawing Class #2

So, today was the second life drawing class and I didn't know it was possible, but my hands got even more covered in charcoal than they did last week. There were more explosions from my charcoal, with pieces chipping and flying everywhere as I was drawing. I think I have become even more enthusiastic now that I have discovered the wonderful world of charcoal.
Even though we had a different model and different poses this week, the structure of the class was the same as the last:
-five sketches with two minutes of each pose, which unlike the previous week, wasn't my best one. I think it's because I had to draw over each sketch, so the page looked really messy. I think next week I'll attempt smaller sketches to put on the one page. However, so far, I've realised I draw "big and bold" rather than "small and tidy."
- then two sketches of five minutes:

-followed by two ten minutes

-and instead of a single forty minute piece, we instead did two twenty minutes, which I preferred doing. This is because last week I found that the forty minute one was too long having finished the body by half that time, so I felt compelled to do the finer details and attempt the face to fill in the remaining minutes. And the face I drew didn't come out very well, so this week I promised myself to not try to draw faces.

Keys To The Kingdom

I completely lost track of time because I was reading and because of this, I also completely forgot about it being Monday. It's amazing how time just flies by when you're so absorbed in a whole world made up of paper and ink. Anyway, time to reveal the song of the day, which is 'Keys To The Kingdom' which is the opening song in Linkin Park's album 'The Hunting Party.' I know that I have written a lot about Linkin Park, especially from this particular album, but that is because they are one of my all time favourite bands and my "go-to band."

The reason why I decided to talk about this particular song today is for the very simple reason of: I woke up with it in my head. Well, in my sleep, it came into my dream and woke me up and has been in my head the entire day (it's a good thing I love this song).
So, true fact. I woke up this morning with:

No control! No surprise!

Tossed the keys to the kingdom down that hole in my eye

I'm my own casualty! I f*** up everything I see, fighting in futility!

So, not the most positive sounding song to wake up to, but you know what, I actually found it easy to get out of bed this morning because of it. For some reason, Linkin Park songs just help every situation I'm in. Whether I'm needing to write an essay and need motivational music: Linkin Park. If I am really angry: Linkin Park. If I feel inspired and invincible: Linkin Park. If I need to get to sleep and need an equivalent to a lullaby: Linkin Park. And that goes for, needing to get out of bed on a freezing morning: Linkin Park... yep, definitely my "go-to band."  

Wuthering Heights

I don't read classics as a leisurely pastime. I don't mind studying them in English or literature classes, but when it comes to my own hobby of reading, I don't do classics. HOWEVER, over the past couple of weeks, I've been reading Emily Bronte's 'Wuthering Heights' and last night (actually, just as the clock struck midnight), I finished it. And straight away, I messaged my friend to let them know of this accomplishment, because believe me, this is actually a very proud moment for me, not because I thought reading this book was a challenge (it was surprisingly quite an easy read). It is an accomplishment because I have borrowed 'Wuthering Heights' three times, but only read as far as the title, so the fact that I've actually opened the book, let alone finished it, is huge. When I borrowed the book this time round, I was determined and my mum's very "encouraging" (sarcasm) words of:

Me: Mum, I'm going to read 'Wuthering Heights.'
Mum: Oh [pause]. You won't like it.
Me: You never know.
Mum: Mmm [pause]. I'm not sure... It's very wordy.  (She says, as if I don't study English and literature at a university level- thanks mum)

But that doubt made me even more determined, because you see, I'm an extremely stubborn person, so if someone thinks I can't do something, I feel even more compelled to do it to prove them wrong. In fact, the exact message I sent to my friend when I told them I finished the book was:

Me: Just finished 'Wuthering Heights'- I did it!!!!
Him: Knew you could do it (how come my mum didn't have that attitude?)
Me: I proved all the disbelievers wrong!

During the reading process, a few of my other friends who actually read classics as a normal thing, were really excited and proud of me, were like: "you can then start with 'Jane Eyre' next!"
Um... no. Even though I actually enjoyed 'Wuthering Heights,' I have not suddenly converted into a classics lover and I do not feel compelled to read any more classics unless it's for studies. I know this is very narrow minded of me, but there are so many other things that I want to read and I don't care that many of those reads are predictable and shallow. The only reason I read this in the first place was because in 'The Sky is Everywhere,' the main character, Lenny's, favourite book is 'Wuthering Heights.' Lenny was obsessed with it and loved it as much as I loved my favourite book and I felt I owed it to my love for 'The Sky is Everywhere.' This means that next time I read 'The Sky is Everywhere' (I think it will be for the ninth time now), I can actually say I've read 'Wuthering Heights' and understand where Lenny is coming from.

As I briefly said before, I actually enjoyed reading it and contrary to what my mum said, it wasn't wordy. The language was beautifully written, and easy to understand and follow, which I think is partly due to the fact that it is written in the first person. The only part I didn't understand was whenever the character Joseph spoke, as his dialogue was written phonetically to his accent, which I tried to read aloud, but I still didn't know what that guy was going on about, and the things I did pick up on, it just sounded like he was shaking his head at people and saying that they will go to Hell for behaving in whatever way they were behaving in, so I just skipped his disapproving speeches. But the rest of the novel was great and was completely different to what I was expecting. What many people made it out to be, it sounded like it was going to be some epic love story between Heathcliff and Catherine, however, I interpreted it completely different.

Yes, Heathcliff and Catherine loved each other, BUT I would not say that is what the entire book is about. It's just one of the many things that is going on, and if anything, the main theme of the story is probably about abusive and possessive relationships. The events of the story are the recounts of the nanny/ maid, of her telling the new tenant of Thrushcross Grange about these people and their lives and relationships with each other. I don't want to give the story away and it is not a simple straightforward story of love which is easy to give a brief summary about. It's just not what you expect it to be, so if haven't read it and are curious about it, then I do think it is a good book to read. I personally don't see why there is a massive fuss about it, but it is enjoyable to read because you do get really annoyed with the characters and hate a lot of them too. There is a lot of passionate emotions that emanates through the language; there is so much torment and despair. It is also written in an interesting and unique structure, about the lives of the different generations of these linked families, which I didn't know it had, until I read it. For example, there are two Catherine's- the original Catherine that people always go on about with Heathcliff (I don't really understand why- I saw her as a pretty secondary character and definitely more of a mediator of other people's actions than anything else) and then there is her daughter, Cathy, who I found as a more dominant character and I thought who was part of a more interesting generation to read about. (Is it strange that every time I talk about the "first generation" and "second generation", I instantly think about 'Skins') Another praise for the book though, is that I did really like the ending, as, after all the time disliking so many of the people (especially second generation Linton, who was a snivelling crybaby- yes, I know that sounds harsh, but I really felt no sympathy towards this absolute brat) I got what I wanted at the end (okay, that makes me sound like a brat now...oops).

Life Drawing class #1

A couple of weeks back, I was reading Jandy Nelson's (the author of one of my favourite books 'The Sky is Everywhere') new book 'I'll give you the sun.' It was an excellent book that I instantly fell in love with and has, like her other book, inspired me. In this particular novel, it speaks a lot about art and as some readers may be aware, only recently I've been getting into sketching, and in the book there is a scene about life drawing and I was like "I want to do that" because I find it interesting drawing people and how the body can express emotion. So, as soon as I finished reading this fantastic book (which I'll write a separate post about sometime), I looked into any short life drawing courses and enrolled in one.

Today my friend and I went to the first class, with the artist running it focussing on us using charcoal. I've never used charcoal before and I absolutely love it- I am a messy person, so I ended up getting charcoal all over my hands and all over the paper, but considering I've never done life drawing before either, I'm pretty happy with how my sketches came out. So this is what I did today:

1) We began with drawing five sketches with two minutes on each different pose. I only had one piece of paper to draw on, so we had to draw over the previous, and this is what I ended up with and I have to admit, is my personal favourite:

 2) Then we drew two within the span of ten minutes each:

)
         

3) Then we had a forty minute sketch. Because we had a lot of time to draw this pose and I was used to drawing in a rush from the previous sketches, I thought I'd attempt drawing the face, which was an epic fail- I should just focus on the body in these classes, especially hands, because I cannot draw hands at all. 

                             

'Young and Beautiful' and STRANGER DANGER!

Working in the city means that every now and then you come across random and unprecedented situations. For example, a couple of months back, I walked past a bin that was on fire and someone rushed into the nearest convenient store and bought bottles of water to put it out. I have no idea how the bin caught fire, but there you go. Now, a couple of days ago on my way to work, I was minding my own business and must have walked past this guy. The next thing I know, someone is jogging next to me then stops in front of me. It caught me slightly off guard, because up until that point, I was in my own little world.

But the guy (who looked to be in his early 20's) was like: "I just saw you walk past me and you have such a beautiful face that had a really cute expression on it, and I thought I would never forgive myself if I didn't stop and talk to you." Which is sort of sweet, but slightly weird. I had no idea how to respond to that, so I just said "thank you" (and awkwardly standing with my arms crossed) and said that was really nice of him to say that, but I was on my way to work and had to go, but that lead to him to guessing what my occupation was. He guessed: florist (I have no idea where he got that from), a barista and then he guessed "making opals with your eyes?"which made me laugh and say "that would be weird, so funnily enough, no, that isn't my occupation." He then asked for my number, and even though he seemed like a nice person, I remember that life lesson of "STRANGER DANGER" at school, so I didn't tell him, instead said that he came across as nice, but you never know, he could be a serial killer. And then my verbal diarrhoea briefly kicked in for a bit: "I'm not saying you are a serial killer, chances are highly unlikely, but my point is, that you never know." He said that he admired that I was cautious about giving my number to a stranger, he mentioned something about him "jumping into the deep end" with asking me, but he repeated again that he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if I left without giving him my number. I still said no, but in the nicest way possible, because he did legitimately appeared to be a decent person and didn't want to hurt his feelings, but seriously, the whole stopping me in the street is incredibly weird. So I just was like, "sorry, but still no. But thank you and have a lovely day and a lovely life, and if we happen to meet again (which is unlikely, because it's a city, what are the chances of that happening), you never know."
And then I continued walking to work. The End. But I do have to confess that I did have a smile on my face for a while after, because it's always nice when someone calls you beautiful, especially when you don't belief it yourself. Things like that don't happen everyday.

My mum has told me over and over again that looks fades.  So one day, everyone who is young now will become old, and they will become the invisible ones in society (that's how my mum sees middle age) and no one will take any notice of you until you become so old that the youths will offer you their seat on public transport. So, other than the "stranger danger," this is another life lesson my mum has wedged into my brain from a very, very young age. Both my parents always encouraged me to let my personality let lose (also known as my eccentricity and craziness to unleash), because (quoting them now) "when you are young and beautiful, the world will notice. But you should also be kind, funny, always interested to learn, and not be afraid to be yourself, because when you no longer have looks, your personality and education is all you've got left." I don't know if that is inspiring or just really depressing, but either way, that life lesson is what I've grown up with. I think I'm thankful for that brutal honesty from my parents, because it has taught me to not be superficial (even though, I do have shallow moments. I'm not self-righteous, I know I'm infinitely flawed).

This anecdote inspired today's song, Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful" which I think perfectly sums up my parent's life lesson.

I'm psychic- 'Stuck in love'

Ohmygoodness- I'm psychic! Last week, one of my friends recommended me to watch the movie 'Stuck in love' and last night, I watched it for the first time. I didn't know what to expect and all of a sudden, halfway through the movie there is a scene where two of the characters reveal what their favourite songs are and the guy says: 'Between the Bars' by Elliot Smith!!!! I am so psychic! I swear, I have never seen this movie before and I had no idea that 'Between the Bars' was a song featured in it, let alone being a part of one of the key scenes. It instantly became my favourite scene in the movie. [If you haven't seen the movie, beware spoilers in the video]

I'm so glad that my friend recommended 'Stuck in Love' to me, because I absolutely loved the film so much. It is about a family, focussing on the relationships the different family members have. There is the father (who is a successful novelist and how he still is in love with his ex-wife) and their two children, the daughter who is in college and just had a booked published, who is cynical about love, and the son who is in high school and is a hopeless romantic. The film is a drama that looks at serious issues that come attached to the different relationships, like drug addiction, loneliness, fear, etc. It's a beautifully written piece, opening with poetic lines written by the lead characters, which are shown across the screen, and ending with the voiceover of the father.  The acting too is brilliant, with an all-star cast, Greg Kinnear playing the father (Bill), Jennifer Connelly as the mother (Erica), Lily Collins as the daughter (Sam) and Nat Wolff as the son (Rusty), with the secondary love interest including Logan Lerman, who was absolutely brilliant in 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower.' In fact, if you are a fan of 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower,' I strongly encourage you to watch 'Stuck in love' as it has a similar "coming of age" feel about it.

But speaking of music, the film, not only being well written and well acted, also has a fantastic soundtrack (still can't believe my psychic moment with 'Between the bars'), featuring songs like 'Somersaults in Spring' by Friends of Gemini and 'A Mountain, a Peak' by Bill Ricchini. Movies with great soundtracks always make the movie even better, and 'Stuck in Love' is brilliant to begin with. It's the kind of movie I would be able to watch again and again, and fall in love with it all over again every time.

Between the Bars

I think I've developed a new favourite song. I've lost count how many times I've listened to Elliot Smith's masterpiece 'Between the Bars' - I've loved this song for a while now, but I've been gradually listening to it more and more over the past few months, and on repeat over the last couple of weeks and I am never sick of it. In fact, the more I listen to it, the more I fall in love. It's a song that really speaks to the soul- like, if I was a penguin in 'Happy Feet' and Mrs Astrakhan asked me to sing my song that was in my heart, I would sing 'Between the Bars.' It has only one fault to the song, and that is that it only lasts for 2 minutes and 21 seconds- I wish it went for longer, however, I love how it is short at the same time, because it's ephemeral, like so many beautiful and magical things. Like snow, or a sunrise, or memories and other corny sounding things.

I'm not going to go into it too much about it and how why it means so much to me and why I'm completely addicted to it. This song just perfectly captures how I feel most of the time and it's wonderful that I've finally found a song that is like my "soul-song." Forget about finding true love, this song is it for me.
Just to be clear though, this is my "soul-song", but I've previously identified my "personal anthem" to be 'I wish I was a punk rocker' by Sandi Thom, which is not anywhere close to being my favourite song, but I just feel like I can relate to it (plus, it is a great song too). My other favourite song of all-time would definitely be Led Zeppelin's 'Stairway to Heaven', which I know is a cliche, but I don't care, because I love it.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy and appreciate the absolute beauty of 'Between the Bars'- it's just beyond words. I can't even describe how... I can't even... it's just so... just listen. Close your eyes and let the music sweep over you, surround you and consume you.

Inside Out

The new Disney movie 'Inside Out' had incredible reviews, and that is because WOW! it was an incredible movie! I saw it earlier this week and absolutely loved it. I laughed, I got teary eyed, I was clenching my fist in fear. At times, I thought it was the most beautiful movie, and at other the most depressing... it was an emotional roller coaster and even before the movie began, I cried. That is correct, I cried in the mini film that they show before the main movie. It was called Lava and it was about a volcano that watched all these animals in love and he was lonely and sang up to the sky and wished for someone to lava (get, it? play on word with love and lava- I thought it was so clever and funny). And he thought he was all alone, but little did he know that under the sea, there was another lady volcano, who listened to him sing. And over time, he began to sink until only his eyes were above the water, and that was when the lady volcano had become an island, but she was facing the wrong way! So she couldn't see him and his mouth was under the water, so he couldn't sing to her to let her know that she wasn't alone (and this is where I was crying). And eventually he sunk into the see and was becoming extinct, and he could hear her singing out to the sky, which made his lava heat and he shot up to the surface and the two volcanoes became one larger island, in each others arms (and I cried with happiness there). It was BEAUTIFUL!

Pixar's 'Lava'

But back to 'Inside Out'- if you haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend watching it. It's about a young girl, Riley, who's family moves to San Francisco, but featuring the emotions inside her head: Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust:

Up until this point in her life, Joy has been the most dominant in charge in managing Riley's life. Each moment creates a memory which takes the form of a coloured ball that is brought to the headquarters of Riley's mind where the five emotions are in control. And they are then stored in the memory back, except for few key memories, which are called "core memories" that create islands which make up Riley's personality. However, one day, something happens that cause the core memories to break away from their casing, causing Joy and Sadness to leave headquarters in order to return the core memories to headquarters. This leaves Fear, Anger and Disgust in control and havoc is set loose.

The entire concept of the film is a wonderful way for both adults and children to try and understand how our emotions work, with sensitivity, but in a thoroughly enjoyable way. It's such a moving film that deals with quite serious issues, but without being confronting and manages to retain the lighthearted comedy that I think an adult audience will thoroughly appreciate, for example, when the story looks into the mind and emotions headquarters of the mother and the father of Riley. It was hilarious, because it was so true what they were depicting- I'm not going to give away any more than that. Just watch it and enjoy. The cinema I went to was full, in fact, when we were lining up to buy tickets, the session we were planning on seeing, sold out, so we had to go to the later session- that's how popular this movie is. And the audience was made up predominately of adults when we were there, which is amazing because it just proves that you can never be too old for Disney.