My Mad Fat Diary

Rae

A few days ago I was recommended to watch 'My Mad Fat Diary' and I have just begun watching series two because it is such a good tv show. It is a British series, which means they have really amazing accents and is about a girl called Rae who has just come out of psychiatric hospital after a year because she purposely hurt herself. She is overweight, and because of this and many other factors in her life, she dislikes who she is, but now she is out again and finds herself becoming a part of a friendship group. 

Within 'the gang', there is Chloe, her oldest friend and also the one who you sometimes dislike because she is one of those girls who just wants herself to look good, however she also cares about Rae deep down. Then there is Archie, who Rae at first has a crush on. Also there is Izzy and Chop who are so cute together and lastly there's Finn, who I have to say was my favourite character right from the beginning. He seems moody and resentful towards Rae at the beginning, but he actually is the sweetest person. I'm not going to say too much about any of them because I just recommend watching it. 

The Gang

So many people say that if you like 'Skins', you will love 'My mad fat diary', and to some extent I think this is true. It covers similar issues of depression, self-loathing, insecurity, homophobia and just trying to find a place of belonging, however 'My mad fat diary' is a drama-comedy, which makes it lighter for the viewer to watch such honest thoughts of a sixteen year old girl who has experienced such life-altering events. The narration by Rae personally reminds me of the narration in 'Angus, thongs and perfect snogging' with the voice overs that are Rae's internal thoughts and what she has written in her diary. I like this style of storytelling, as well as the additional sketches that are drawn over the film sometimes; it makes it more fun to watch.

I haven't written a post in a while, but now you know why- no wonder so many people have recommended this show. 

(And a side note: it was only until halfway through the last episode of series one that I realised the therapist, Dr Kester is played by the guy who was Professor Quirrell)

Music this Monday

I have to admit, today I didn't do anything much. Even though it is Summer, there were heavy showers and thunder, which meant I stayed inside in my pyjamas all day and spent the day singing around the house. This is what I always do when I have the house to myself, and because I was singing a whole concert worth of songs to absolutely no one, I can't even think of one particular song to talk about for this Monday. Sorry about that. So instead of talking about a specific song, I am going to confess to the songs that I love to sing. Basically, I love singing and listening to dark/sad songs, which really suited the miserable weather of today, in particular Marina and the Diamonds and Lana Del Rey (who are both officially my favourite singers) and luckily some of their songs suit my voice, which is an extra bonus.

Some of my favourite songs of Marina and the Diamonds would be: 'Lies', 'Starring Role', 'Teen Idle' and 'Buy the stars', but to be honest, I just love all of her songs. While some of my favourite songs of Lana Del Rey would be: 'Dark Paradise', 'Born to die', 'Ride' and 'Radio', but it is so hard to narrow them down because I just love them all (except 'Lolita'- I just never warmed up to that one). So I had lots of fun singing all these songs (and more) around the house, and I have to say that I did that for quite a lot of hours.

Marina and the Diamonds

When my mum got home though, I had to stop my singing and instead had to start listening to music with headphones, because mum doesn't really like all my music. So when preparing dinner, I was listening to Lily Allen, and dancing around the kitchen (it is possible to dance and cook at the same time) loving the song 'Smile', 'Close your eyes', 'Silver Spoon' and like last week 'Our time' has been playing on repeat a few times today. But once again, I just love all of her songs. I'm just not fussy with music I've realised, liking most genres, however there are the few exceptions of some artists that I just can't stand. But as a whole, I like most stuff, but today was a day to feature the darker pieces (as well as re-watching Vampire Diaries in between the singing marathons).

Summer adventure #1- Williamstown

This summer is going to be epic, I've decided: filled with reading, writing, music, friends and adventures (with work peppered throughout). And yesterday was the first of these myriad of Summer adventures, where one of my oldest and most dearest friend and I reunited after not having seen each other for over a year. And that is far too long a time, but because we were living in different cities/towns it has been pretty difficult to catch up. When we were younger, the two of us were inseparable- her house was my second home, as I would go over every day after school and visa versa- until ten years ago, when her family moved away. But we have always kept in touch and have remained close, but now after a decade, she has returned! And we are as close as ever and I couldn't be happier!

So yesterday we drove down to Williamstown, where neither of us have ever gone before. It was 31 degrees, but thankfully there was a cool breeze from the water, and despite getting sunburnt (I now have a nose like Rudolf- getting into the Christmas spirit) it was one of the best days.

The car trip itself was so much fun, with a few wrong turns along the way, thanks to the 'faithful' GPS (aka James) who wanted us to go to a 'no entry- flammable liquid' area, we surprisingly found our way to our destination. And it was a really triumphant moment in both of our lives I have to admit.

Williamstown is a really lovely suburb on the waterfront, which apparently has an interesting history, however we wouldn't know that much about it, other than they currently have a really nice ice-cream shop. So, armed with ice-cream (white chocolate with berries and white chocolate with hazelnut for me and white chocolate with berries and cookies and cream for her) we walked along the pier and along the water side before going to the park and talking under a tree for hours while looking across the water towards the city. And that is where we both agreed with Pudge from 'Looking for Alaska' that we are going to seek a "great perhaps."

View from Williamstown (it was slightly overcast, but amazing day nonetheless) 

Looking for Alaska

As requested, I read John Green's novel 'Looking for Alaska', which I thoroughly enjoyed, as it raised so many interesting ideas and different perceptions people have in the world. This is a book that not only is a great read, but is also I great book to discuss with friends, so instead of me just talking about the synopsis of the story, I will also mention some of the concepts that were introduced within the text, because they are really fascinating and open to interpretation (hence why I think it is a fantastic book to study- I would have loved to study this book in high school).

But before any of that, I will have to provide a brief summary of the story: it is divided up into two sections, the time 'before' and the time 'after'. While reading the 'before' section, the text itself is broken by a countdown, eg. we begin "one hundred and thirty-six days before". We don't know what this event  that the protagonist, Miles (aka Pudge) is counting down, however this device allows the reader to remain intrigued and eager to discover what is going to happen, that must be so significant to this character that the entire novel is written around this one big thing. And when you think about it, countdowns are so natural in everyday life. How many times have you looked forward to something or dreaded something and started writing a countdown in your diary or calendar? I know I certainly have. Our lives are made up of significant moments that can change us dramatically, which I briefly mentioned in a previous post about the spoken word poet, Sarah Kay. I'm not going to give away what this book's significant moment is, because that's the point of the novel, so I am only going to talk about the 'before' section.

Pudge is a teenager who has a fascination with people's last words, for example Francois Rabelais' last words "I go to seek a Great Perhaps" which drives Pudge into moving to a boarding school- towards a 'great perhaps'- where he meets new friends, the Colonel, Takumi and the eccentric and intriguing Alaska. Everyone I think is in search of 'the Great Perhaps' with everything we do. Well, I am at any rate; I don't know where my life is going to take me, but I know that I want to take chances and take risks to make something happen. It's sort of like something Vincent Van Gogh said "I would rather die of passion than of boredom." Okay, maybe not the dying part, but the idea that I would rather take risks and fail if I have the possibility of  achieving something wonderful rather than just sitting around and allowing my life be consumed with mediocre boredom. So, the idea of 'The Great Perhaps' raised by John Green is wonderful at summing up motivation. It was really enjoyable reading about this group of teenagers because they just seem realistic with the way they talk and act; it seems so normal and familiar, as you realise the great complexities that each person holds.

There are so many things to explore that are prompted by the book, which really shows how much of a book nerd I am, because I'm so excited about the numerous discussions that can be risen over even the smallest of comments in this book. I'm 'word-greedy', as I like to put it, because I just want to read more and more and more as if each word was some kind of decadent food and I'm starving and craving for more, to the point of addiction. I've actually underlined so many phrases in this book, because I really find them so insightful and I think it can relate to everyone to some extent.
Another important last words mentioned in 'Looking for Alaska' is Simon Bolivar's "How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!" which the character, Alaska, is obsessed with. And it really is a mind-boggling question, which cannot be answered. So instead of writing a thesis length of my own interpretation (which I have to admit, I think I'm going to do that just for fun in my spare time), I'm just going to leave you with the question so you can come up with your own thoughts.

And apparently this is being made into a film, so I really hope that they do it justice.

9/10 

Our Time

It has almost been a week since my last exam for the year, which means I survived my first year at uni! Yay! And to all of you who have completed your first year or second year, or even your entire course or if you completed high school these past few weeks, a big congratulations for all of us, because it is finally holidays and it is "Our Time".

As soon as the exam ended, a couple of my friends and I bought a tub of the very much loved 'Ben and Jerry's' ice-cream (chocolate fudge brownie flavour- delicious) and spent the remainder of the afternoon in our favourite place on campus and just ate this food from heaven while freedom began to sink in. No more worries about studies, essays, assignments, folios, exams and whatever else that homework entails. Yes, I've spent the majority of the week working, but I don't have the extra stress that often comes alongside uni. And on reflection, this year has been one of the best years of my life: making new and amazing friends, as well as catching up with my wonderful friends from school too; actually studying things that I am interested in; being on a lovely campus and realising that uni is so much better than high school (I can't even emphasis how much better it is). Certainly there were many ups and downs along the way, like the self-inflicted last minute essay writing among many other things, but as a whole, I can look back and say that I loved this year so much. I'm beginning to make it sound like a speech that should be said at the end of the actual year, but I've never had a good sense of time (New Years Eve is only a month and half away anyway, so... close enough).

"Our Time" by Lily Allen is from her latest album which came out May this year, and I think it perfectly sums up how many of us feel now that it's holidays. It's probably my favourite song on the album 'Sheezus', which I love to sway and dance along to and "lose sense of space and time..."

Doctor Who series 8

On Sunday it was the final of Doctor Who series 8. This series was the first with Peter Capaldi as the Doctor, and I thought he was excellent. We have returned to the darker personality, similar to that of Christopher Eccleston (who personally is my favourite doctor); at the very beginning of the series he even asks whether he is a "good man."

This series is very much about this new doctor discovering himself as well as understanding the people and worlds around him. When talking to my friends who watch the show, all of them have been impressed with how Peter Capaldi has taken on the role after Matt Smith. However, I feel like I'm one of the only ones who really liked Clara as the assistant. My favourite assistant of all time would definitely be Donna, because the chemistry she had with David Tennant was "brilliant" and she has so much charisma and attitude, showing that humans are just as good and as important as everything else in the universe. However, I would actually say that Clara is my second favourite, because I think that she has matured and developed greatly as a character; when she was with Matt Smith doctor, there was an 'older brother and younger sister' relationship that was going on, with her being amazed with everything that time and space had to offer. In this new series with Peter Capaldi, they behave as absolute best friends, being loyal to each other and being each other's strength. Clara is so human and I don't understand why so many people have found it hard to warm up to her. (As a side note, I also really like Clara's wardrobe)

The episodes themselves this series, as a whole, have really strong ideas however the endings to many seem to have become simplistic. By this, I mean that many of the endings just seemed rushed and I felt that the reason for many of the events that happened in a particular episode, weren't explained completely. And I thought it was the only downfall for this series, however, many of the stories were really interesting and enjoyable, for example "Listen", "Mummy on the Orient Express" and "Flatline", the concepts were really intriguing. But I thought the strongest of the series were the two final episodes, which I was happy about. 

Guilty all the same

My go-to music is Linkin Park. Whenever I can't get to sleep at night, I listen to Linkin Park. When I just need to switch off the world around me and have a timeout with reality, I listen to Linkin Park. If I need to get motivated and on top of studying and revision, I listen to Linkin Park. In the lead up to my exam (which is tomorrow- aarrghh) I have lost count how many times I've listened to all of my Linkin Park albums; they've been playing in a loop, especially their relatively new album 'The Hunting Party' which came out June this year. I only recently got it, and absolutely love every single note, with my favourite songs being 'Until it's gone', 'Final Masquerade' (actually, that might be my favourite), 'A line in the sand' and the today's chosen song "Guilty all the same".

The opening is really intense and is perfect for getting into the determined mindset for studying. Sticky notes are everywhere. Mind maps are scattered across the floor (I had to vacate from my room to the living room where there was more floor space for my notes). Highlighters are running out of ink and so are all the pens. Text book margins are now filled with cramped handwritten notes. It's getting really frantic as I realise once again that I should've started studying a few weeks ago and the only thing that is preventing me from just giving in to exhaustion is the fast drumbeat, crash of symbols, electric guitar and the angry vocals.

Tell us all again

What you think we should be 

What the answers are (I really need to learn answers to the possible exam questions)

What it is we can't see

This week's readings

Allegiant

I finished the Divergent Trilogy and I think that on reflection, my favourite of the three books by Veronica Roth was the first one. However I did enjoy the last book, 'Allegiant'; the concept is much larger than that of 'Divergent' (where the focus is on the initiation at Dauntless, but I think that is why I liked it) and 'Insurgent' (where the focus has extended to the entire city of Chicago).

The conflict just grows and more plot twists are being introduced into the story, and while I was reading  'Allegiant', and was more than halfway through, I was beginning to doubt whether everything could be resolved in the remaining pages. Surely there would have to be another novel-length to be able to find solutions to all this build up? But it turned out that the denouement didn't take up much time at all and that the crescendo was the main point of the story. The ending was sort of predictable but unpredictable at the same time. By this I mean that when reading the third book, you can speculate what could happen to some of the plots, but you would not have guessed any of those things when reading the first book. It's really hard to explain without giving the entire series plot away, and that is why I decided to just write a very brief review about it, because obviously if you are interested in reading this dystopian trilogy, you would rather not have the ending spoilt.

7/10


The book of broken hearts

After finishing 'Allegiant' I thought I'd return back to my usual reading genre of young adult fiction set in the every day world and about every day people, and 'Sarah Ockler's novel 'The book of broken hearts' jumped out at me while scanning the library bookshelves. I was expecting a light read, and in a way it really was, written in the first person of the main character, Jude. The language itself made you feel like you were reading through Jude's thought process, which not many people like, however, I really enjoy that sort of writing style. This style was very similar to how Richelle Mead wrote her 'Vampire Academy' series, which I find makes it easier for the reader to become the protagonist, stepping into their minds. But despite the writing style, the book involves such heavy issues, which made the book an emotional read which involved me to have a few minutes break after some sections before continuing reading (I finished the book in a day because for me it was a quality read). The reason for this was because the story is so realistic, to the point that some of the themes hit really close to home.

Jude is the youngest sister of four, whom each have had their heart's broken by one of the Vargas brothers. When she was twelve, she joined in with her sisters in swearing an oath to never get involved with a Vargas, which has never been a problem for Jude until the summer before she goes off to college. During this break, she and her father plan to fix his old motorbike, which leads them in employing the young mechanic, Emilio, who also happens to be a Vargas. It is this summer that she begins to realise that maybe not all Vargas's are evil heartbreakers, as she instantly falls for Emilio.

The reason why there is a sense of urgency to finish the motorbike is because Jude's father has Alzheimer's, and this is what also made this read heavy and why I became more emotionally involved in the story than I usually do when reading books. I always get absorbed when reading the book and am often transported into the world of the book, however, this time it was more personal. I, among many others have/ had someone in their lives who are diagnosed with this horrible disease, and it is seriously one of the worst things imaginable. Sarah Ockler was able to capture the disease (which Jude referred to as 'El Demonio') so realistic, with Jude's father's episodes, which makes your heart break as it is quite confronting especially if you have actually experienced similar scenarios in real life.

It was such a truthful, yet wonderful read and am hoping to read more of her books. I highly recommend this.

8/10

Amnesia

I just stumbled across this song by chance when I was exploring youtube the other day and for the rest of that evening I listened to "Amnesia" -sung by the Australian band 5 Seconds of Summer- on repeat, for the very simple reason that it is an incredible song.

I can't even describe properly how I just instantly feel in love with this song. I bought it straight away with my last few dollars of iTunes money, which I had been saving for a really amazing song, so I guess I found the amazing song that I had been waiting for. Released in July this year, the opening with the soft acoustic guitar is so sweet sounding; the melodic first verse is reflective which makes you think back to your own experiences and emotions. And then when it develops into the chorus, you feel the passionate emotions that is being played each strum of the guitar, and the voices of the band members are so beautiful too. You can hear the pain and the regret and the wish for having amnesia, "and forget about the stupid little things, like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape..."

It is a heartbreaking song, and I think I'm addicted to it, because I have lost count how many times I have listened to it in the past few days. I've been listening to that and the new Linkin Park album, 'Hunting Party' (which is also absolutely incredible!) all the while when I should really start studying for my exam that is approaching in a weeks time. But this is the type of song that it is worth stopping what you are doing and to just listen with your full attention.